How to Stop Being Over-Sensitive

I have been able to get over physically as well as mentally my oversensitivity to others' words and actions through therapy and by asking myself what's the worst that could happen if what I believed to be was true was in fact true. If someone declined my offer to come to tea because they really didn't like me...so what, what then? Is that such a bad thing, is the world going to stop turning because one person doesn't like me? Nope.

If someone doesn't respond to my emails, what's the worst thing that could happen? Not much. Doing that has really helped me to see that I not only am I over sensitive to other people but that I also have a dramatic response to what other people say or do towards me. and I had to ask myself, why I would take it so hard if someone ignored me or disliked me or whatever. It was because I didn't have a good sense of my own identity nor a good self-esteem. Developing both made a powerful increase in my life; I became happier and felt capable of handling minor problems that everyone goes through. My circumstances didn't change, just my attitude. I began to realize that happiness was not some external feeling handed to me by my environment, but a feeling that I could cultivate inside. And the stronger I cultivated this feeling, the more capable I felt at being able to change or leave situations that were not what I wanted or best for me at the time.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Counter Clockwise Foot & the Number 6

I got this from Avert Your Eyes, and of course I tried it. Oh, this freaked me out good for a few minutes.
----------------------------------------------
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed In your brain! Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......)and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make Clockwise Circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your Right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it! You are going to try it again, if you've not already done so but the results will be the same.
----------------------------------------------

I've been trying to figure out why this bothered me so much. I think it's because it clearly showed me a very particular and specific limit of my body; of being a human being. I like to believe that I can do anything I set my mind to and that I am not my body and reality is subjective and all that jazz. This is something very clearly shows me that in some aspects, that is not true. There are limits to my body. There are limits to physical existence. I can't do everything I want if I just put my mind to it. Oh, I wasted 5 minutes of my life this morning trying to not have my foot change direction while I drew the number 6 in the air and at the end, with much concentration, so much so I broke out in a sweat, I was able to keep my foot going clockwise. However I felt exhausted and drained, and my heart was beating wildly. Worth it? NO.

On second thought I am not going to count it as a waste of time but a valuable lesson. My brain, my neural wiring is functioning as it should be. This is a good thing. and I believe that whatever lessons my soul or life's energy is supposed to learn from being alive on this particular planet, in this particular space/time continuum, are meant to be learned within the boundaries of a human body.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Keeping Negative People Away

Emotional vampires are hard. I used to feel that I attracted negative people into my life. I sometimes still feel this way. I think I am a magnet for them because of my childhood; I think this was the case for me. Isn't is astonishing how when you wake up you can spot dangerous people a mile away? Before my awakening, I was so obtuse or so needy for somebody, ANYBODY, to want me or want to be around me that I overlooked the flaws of lethal people.

If this is something you struggle with, you are definitely on your way to changing this because once you recognize this about yourself it makes it easier to commit to change. So there is only movement forward rather than backward to a life of being used. You are too aware now to want less for yourself!

I've been mulling over why this is so hard to change and I was reading about the work of Dr. Jeffrey Young, a cognitive psychologist. Basically he says that our attachment to our parents when we are small children, whether good or bad attachments, form neural pathways in the brain that set patterns for your life. So if parents were abusive/cold/mean/uncaring/etc., that becomes what we are attracted to in relationships as adults. This is not a new idea but he takes it a little further by examining how that particular attachment can define our adult personalities i.e people who feel entitled, people who have abandonment issues, people who feel defective, and so on. Anyway it helped me to see why this change is so hard, especially for those of us who grew up in a chaotic environment and in crisis mode.

The good news is you don't have to continue in this way or stay fixated on negativity! You can choose to welcome and attract positive people into your life; you can choose to see needy, whiny, destructive, abusive, controlling, pessimistic, etc. people for what they are - emotional vampires who would suck your energy and zest for life right out of you if they could. Once you become aware you will no longer want such people in your life. You will become attracted to and attract happy, positive people who enjoy being alive and being at peace. You will no longer see people who live in crisis mode as being exciting, but you may began to pity them for the turmoil that exists within their hearts and minds. Use that pity to fuel your own determination to be happy and live your life to the fullest. You can do it!

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing and Production by Email

Who Are Your Favorite Kinds of People?

Who are your favorite kinds of people?
I LOVE people who are positive, open-minded, optimistic, generally happy and who enjoy living and all that life has to offer. I like being around people who exude sincerity, kindness, and appreciation for others and who can handle being around people of diverse backgrounds. I like people who handle the normal difficulties of life easily and recognize the uselessness in dwelling on feeling bad or negativity. These are the kind of people that make me feel good just being around them. These are people who pass on a feeling of happiness just from their very presence. This is the kind of person I am striving to be.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

How to Discuss Political Beliefs & Keep Your Cool

When I am discussing political issues with people, I just state my opinion and let them state theirs. if I find myself getting upset at what they are saying, I will tell them so and excuse myself from the conversation rather than go off on them. Like I'll say I respect your right to your opinion/political view/whatever, but you are speaking on matters which are life and death to me/my people/humanity/whatever so I can't continue this conversation with you right now without getting upset. Excuse me. Then I will press them gently on the arm and smile and walk away.

One thing I find helpful to remember is that most people are truly not evil. I really believe this. There are people with different political beliefs from mine whose voting actions have resulted in the deaths of many people via wars and stuff. When I talk to people like this, I have found that wasn't their intent at all, and they truly believe they were doing the right thing. I try to keep this in mind when attempting to discuss opposing political views with people. It helps me keep my composure.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Trula's 43things

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

How to Get Over Friendship Rejection

When someone I want to know doesn't return my emails or calls, I choose to believe they are just very busy right now or didn't get to the voicemail or email. That is usually the case with myself so I tend to believe this is the case with others. Then when I see them out somewhere I just say hello and smile, so that they know I am not salty because they never called or emailed me back. Usually they will then start talking to me about whatever and we develop a friendship. If they just smile and say hello back I'll not press for friendship then, just casually speaking when we bump into each other. In any case I just no longer take it personally.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Emulate the People You Like to be Around

The method that worked best for me in changing how I interact with people was to emulate the people that I liked to be around. I also examined why I liked being around them. I found that I like being around people who exude happiness and self-contentment, people who have interesting thoughts and ideas, people who make nice comments about others, and people who are optimistic and look for the best in others and in situations. These were the people I looked forward to seeing and being around, others less so.

So I began to change the way I presented myself/behaved around others in hopes that they would see me in that way too. Over time it became second-nature and helped me to actually be a happier person. For example there was a time when if something bad happened to me in the morning, even something minor like spilling coffee on my shirt or whatever, that meant I was going to have a bad day, ALL day. Now I have an easier time processing negative events and letting them go rather than dwelling on negativity. I made a conscious choice to dwell on positivity and to be a pleasant person to be around, to choose to look at events and others' negative responses to me in a positive light. When I am not able to look at a negative response in a positive light because it truly was something stank that they said or did, I now choose to understand that it is on them, it's their actions/words and not something I caused or did. It's not my fault or flaw so why take it personally.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Just When I was Ready to Give Up on the Pessimists & Whiners, I Came Across HugNation

It seems like lately online and offline I have been running into folks whose mission in life is seemingly to complain, complain, complain. People who wallow, just wallow in unhappiness and self-inflicted misery. Nothing is ever right or good enough in their world and they whine about everything and do their best to pull everything and everyone down with them. I am believer in the law of attraction so I feel I must be attracting these people to my attention, I just am not sure why I would want to do so. They are huge energy drains and can suck the happy right out of the air. Yesterday I had a day filled with negative folks but then came across this website HugNation:
http://www.hugnation.com/

From the site: Think of it as a sort of prayer -- a communal expression of compassion. It is a weekly reminder that we are connected and we all far more similar than we are different. Everyone can use a hug.

It's by Halcyon, an incredibly warm, happy, and funny guy and the point of it is to participate in a virtual, worldwide hug. I think this is such a cool idea! and so sweet, especially because his grandfather participated in the site until he died. It's an all around good-feeling positive site. Seeing it yesterday gave me an energy boost of happiness that helped me pull up my inner happy shield that deflects the energy-suck balls negative and whiny and mean-spirited people try to throw at me. Take that, pessimists! The world is not an evil, ugly, unhappy place! Love and happiness will win out in the end!

Now I know there are a lot of sex-positive people reading this site, so I will tell you he also has Globalgasm, where people can participate in a virtual orgasm:
http://www.globalgasm.com

From the site: The world needs an injection of focused, positive, sexual energy. If we all do it at the same time, we can build off each other and elevate the vibe to an earth-shattering level.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

Who Do You Most Admire in Life?

Who do you most admire in life and why?
My maternal grandmother experienced a lot of unhappiness in life but she truly enjoyed life and more than any other adult in my life showed me how to live in the moment; to be happy in the moment and not put off happiness until things are perfect. And she was the first person to tell me I was a treasured person just for being a child in her life! She made me feel valued and loved just for being me and I do this with my children because of her.

My paternal grandmother was very mean and unhappy but one time when I was a little kid I wrote her a letter telling her about my school year and that I loved her. She kept that letter on her mantelpiece until she died. That taught me how a little kindness can have a profound affect on someone's life.

I also greatly admire Oprah because she is super-rich and uses her money for good and not evil like so many super-rich people do. And she is such a genuine, kind, happy person who truly experiences great happiness from giving to others. Before I had her as an example I thought that money would solve my problems and make me happy, but I learned from watching her over the years that money cannot solve or cure what ails you inside and it cannot bring you emotional peace or happiness. These things are what makes life beautiful and worth living and must come from within.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

I am the #1 Positivity Enthusiast In the World

When you put 'positivity enthusiast' into google this site comes up #1!!! Yay! That makes me feel awesome, especially because I have just gotten started writing about positivity on this blog. That means I must have lots of positivity throughout this blog without even meaning to!

Henceforth, ahem: Positivity enthusiast is a phrase coined by writer Trula Breckenridge in August 2007. It means a person who chooses happiness and to see the positive in life. This definition may be amended or added to later, LOL.

Have a great day and I hope I spread some sunshine your way!

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing, Production & Positivity by Email

What Do You Do For You?

I'm all about self-pampering. I can't be a good mother if I don't take care of myself. Here's what I do:

-Go hang out in a bookstore or library
-Go to the art museum
-Hang out in nature i.e go to the Lake (Erie), or a Metropark, or go walking/hiking
-Rub a great-smelling lotion all over my body
-Drink some herbal tea, I adore blueberry, peach, and zinger teas
-Bake something
-Sew something
-Spend alone time with my husband
-Spend time with my friends or call a friend. You know it just occurred to me that I haven't had a 3-way call with friends since high school. I'm going to do that today, I know it will crack up whichever 3 I manage to get ahold of! LOL!
-old school coloring book. Yup, just get out some crayons and a coloring book or paper and go to town
-and write, write write in my old school journal or on whatever book project I am working on.

Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing and Production by Email