Full Spectrum

See this book is why I love science fiction so much. A collection of short stories edited by Lou Aronica and Shawna McCarthy, this book includes so many great stories it's unreal. I could not put it down. The stories are a true trip, ranging from fantasy to hard science to political to futuristic. It was published in '88 so it might be hard to find a copy, I got this one at a used bookstore way in the stacks.

It's hard to choose a favorite story as they were all so good, but my favorite is 'Journals of the Plague Years' by Norman Spinrad. This story details a time of an AIDS-like disease gone out of control to the point where there are entire cities cordoned off and filled only with infected people, where people engage in sex with machines to avoid contact with each other, where a police force is assigned to solely check and screen people's health ID card which must be updated every few months or so. If you come up infected, you get booted into the quarantined areas.

The story is beautifully written and Spinrad did an amazing job showing the story from 4 main points of view and then bringing all those characters together. What really got me about this story was that I could totally see it happening, especially the part where the doctor/scientist, frustrated with his wife's fear and frigid attitude toward sex, goes out and hooks up with a prostitute who has a fake healthy ID...of course she has the disease and gives it to him. Knowing his card is going to come up infected at the next blood update he rushes his research, comes up with a cure, injects himself, and is cured. Takes the info to the big pharmaceutical company he works for and they destroy the evidence because it would mean a loss of profits to them (how can you sell a cure that is spread, like the disease, through sex?). They even talk about killing him but he promises to keep his mouth shut in exchange for big money. They do not know he carries the cure within his body.

Horrifying as such greed is, I can see this happening, can't you? People can be so evil and greedy, for sure there are pharmaceutical companies and governments that would suppress a cure. There are countries right now that are suppressing info about how to prevent HIV infection, even though the epidemic is killing off huge chunks of the adult population and crippling their economy. I have a hard time understanding how people can be so willfully ignorant and uncaring...I sometimes think that the rulers of these countries are being paid off in some manner to keep their people uninformed.

I digress. I loved this book and this story totally rocked. It ends with the good guys winning, with truth and beauty shining through to bring an end to the plague years.

What a Dummy

PLEASE do not vote for this man. He is so dumb.

And if you need any proof of white privilege or racism this nit-wit we call a president is ample proof. Can you imagine a black president being so inarticulate?! I can just hear the ebonics comments flying and talk of how he or she must have been given their degree through affirmative action. Well Bush was given a degree on a silver platter. I got the following from d sekou on Casa Indaba:

"A president must president his country. I , that is, we, as a country, president, and commit ourself to presidenting in and out of this great country in the world. I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but of predecessors as well"

"elmo, if i win , do you want to be secretary of state or secretary of defense?"

The MamaGathering

I just got home early Tuesday morning from Minneapolis and I'm still excited from the MamaGathering, I had a GREAT time. There were so many wonderful women I got to finally meet, and some women I met I didn't know at all from the various mama boards who are ultra-cool. I loved it! The kids and I stayed in town with a wonderful mama, Rebecca Trotzky-Sirr, Saturday & Sunday nights & Monday, so I missed all the hotel interaction but got to see some of the town, and meet a couple of her friends, really nice and cool people.

It took much longer to get there than I anticipated, I had forgotten how many stops one requires when traveling with kids. It's been awhile since I traveled any kind of distance with the kids by myself. So I was running into the hotel at 9:45 Saturday morning, got the kids situated, and I was off to do my workshop, which started at 9:30. It went well if I do say so myself and Maia Rossini, who I did the workshop with, is the bomb, she is so cool and creative and smart and friendly, she just knocked me out with her warmth and good humor.

Saturday night I got asked to read for the girl-mom play, which of course I was too thrilled and honored to do. The last I'd heard the reading was going to be on Friday and we weren't able to leave until then, so I was kinda bummed thinking I was going to miss seeing it. But they moved it to Saturday and one person couln't make it, so they asked me!! Too cool. I really enjoyed it. We went after Nina Utne's talk, she does the Utne Reader (which was cool, she was so enthusiastic!) and
Ariel Gore's reading from her book Whatever, Mom, which was funny! and great! and so right on! I think she and I must have the same daughter, tee hee.

Sunday I made it to one workshop, we all got up kinda late but my kids had a great time playing and hanging out with our host's little boy. We got back to the hotel by lunchtime and I got to hang out with more moms until the afternoon workshop I went to. My daughter found 2 other teenagers to hang out with so she was finally happy; I think she was alittle unnerved by all the babies and little kids running around. After that we went and hung out at Loring Park, which has a sweet pond and a wading pool and several play areas; I could not get the kids out of that wading pool. So I ended up missing the reading at Arise bookstore which kinda sucked, especially since I got to meet Anne Elizabeth Moore who wrote the Hey Kidz! book and she invited me to read with her. I called the bookstore and she was cool about it, she's a sweetheart. While the kids were vegging out in the wading pool I talked with some local moms, told them about the Gathering and Hipmama, Mamaphonic,Girlmom, and of course my sites and books and zines. I think I made some converts, ha. They were really nice and we exchanged email and numbers, I will keep in touch with them. I finally got the kids going around 830.

It was an awesome weekend! Minneapolis is a beautiful city and I wish we could have stayed longer. I know there were other mamas I wanted to meet and didn't get a chance to, it seemed like there just wasn't enough time. I'd go to talk to somebody and stop to say hi to somebody else and the next thing I knew, a half hour had flown by and the other person had left.

I do wish more people had been interactive. I know there were moms who, if I hadn't said anything to them, they wouldn't have said anything to me. Which kinda freaked me out; it seems like I always have to be the first one to speak, to break the ice. It's not like I'm some super-celebrity or unapproachable or whatever. But once I said hi they smiled and talked, so that was cool.

I hear next year is going to be in Chicago!

The MamaGathering: 7.20.04

I just got home from Minneapolis and I'm still excited from the MamaGathering, I had a GREAT time. There were so many wonderful women I got to finally meet, and some women I met I didn't know at all from the various mama boards who are ultra-cool. I loved it! The kids and I stayed in town with a wonderful mama, Rebecca Trotzky-Sirr, Saturday & Sunday nights & Monday, so I missed all the hotel interaction but got to see some of the town, and meet a couple of her friends, really nice and cool people.

It took much longer to get there than I anticipated, I had forgotten how many stops one requires when traveling with kids. It's been awhile since I traveled any kind of distance with the kids by myself. So I was running into the hotel at 9:45 Saturday morning, got the kids situated, and I was off to do my workshop, which started at 9:30. It went well if I do say so myself and Maia Rossini, who I did the workshop with, is the bomb, she is so cool and creative and smart and friendly, she just knocked me out with her warmth and good humor.

Saturday night I got asked to read for the girl-mom play, which of course I was too thrilled and honored to do. The last I'd heard the reading was going to be on Friday and we weren't able to leave until then, so I was kinda bummed thinking I was going to miss seeing it. But they moved it to Saturday and one person couln't make it, so they asked me!! Too cool. I really enjoyed it. We went after Nina Utne's talk, she does the Utne Reader (which was cool, she was so enthusiastic!) and
Ariel Gore's reading from her book Whatever, Mom, which was funny! and great! and so right on! I think she and I must have the same daughter, tee hee.

Sunday I made it to one workshop, we all got up kinda late but my kids had a great time playing and hanging out with our host's little boy. We got back to the hotel by lunchtime and I got to hang out with more moms until the afternoon workshop I went to. My daughter found 2 other teenagers to hang out with so she was finally happy; I think she was alittle unnerved by all the babies and little kids running around. After that we went and hung out at Loring Park, which has a sweet pond and a wading pool and several play areas; I could not get the kids out of that wading pool. So I ended up missing the reading at Arise bookstore which kinda sucked, especially since I got to meet Anne Elizabeth Moore who wrote the Hey Kidz! book and she invited me to read with her. I called the bookstore and she was cool about it, she's a sweetheart. While the kids were vegging out in the wading pool I talked with some local moms, told them about the Gathering and Hipmama, Mamaphonic,Girlmom, and of course my sites and books and zines. I think I made some converts, ha. They were really nice and we exchanged email and numbers, I will keep in touch with them. I finally got the kids going around 830.

It was an awesome weekend! Minneapolis is a beautiful city and I wish we could have stayed longer. I know there were other mamas I wanted to meet and didn't get a chance to, it seemed like there just wasn't enough time. I'd go to talk to somebody and stop to say hi to somebody else and the next thing I knew, a half hour had flown by and the other person had left.

I do wish more people had been interactive. I know there were moms who, if I hadn't said anything to them, they wouldn't have said anything to me. Which kinda freaked me out; it seems like I always have to be the first one to speak, to break the ice. It's not like I'm some super-celebrity or unapproachable or whatever. But once I said hi they smiled and talked, so that was cool.

I hear next year is going to be in Chicago!

The Man I Live With, Part 2

The man I live with says 'hey baby' when he sees me. He likes a tongue kiss as soon as he gets home from work and he likes to squeeze my bottom. Once he lightly tapped my bum when hugging me goodbye when my parents were visiting, my dad pretended not to notice. I was mortified. I hissed, Brian! in his ear and he sheepishly mumbled, sorry. The entire visit he was on eggshells around my dad. I think he thought my dad would be upset or something, but he wasn't.

If it's not too hot or cold outside the man I live with likes to take a long bike ride. When he gets home he tells me about his travels. He has a very observant eye for detail. I tell him he should write. He says, maybe. After his bike ride he likes to take a quick shower and lounge around. I lean against his legs and think of them riding. He rides fast and I ride slow so we do not often take bike rides together. When we do he says, Whoa, Nellie! and Hey Now, You're an All-Star and other things he finds funny. I am not usually amused by this. Sometimes I ask him to slow down and he does. Sometimes he asks me to speed up and I do. After we come home and shower we like to rub each other down with lotion. I say, I love your long lean body. He says, I love your big thick thighs and soft skin.

The man I live with had long hairs growing in odd places on his body when he was younger. Once when we were just friends at college, me and our other friend Lisa held him down at school during the big spring fest right on the lawn in front of the science building. We pulled up his shirt and laughed at his weird long hairs, one lone hair growing low on his chest and another on his back. We tugged at them and said, what the fuck is that all about? and laughed and laughed. He shrugged and laughed with us, his face red and flushed, his eyes twinkling. You could tell he was pleased with all the attention. A few other women we didn't know came over and played with his hair and told him how cute he was, he grinned and grinned. Later we went into the big ballon jumping booth and jumped around, turning somersaults and throwing air balls at each other. I told the man I live with how fun he was and I hoped we'd always be friends. He said, I will be your friend forever.

Workshop Preparation

So I missed the Philly Zinefest since Todd was/is having trouble with his allergies and adenoids. He's got to see the doctor this week. I hate that I missed it, I was really looking forward to going and doing my workshop. It sucks that I missed it. Oh well, life happens.

I'm definitely going to the MamaGathering
this Saturday in Minneapolis. I'm doing a workshop on Writing for Publication. I did a run-through practice with my friend Amy the other day. I still need to tweak it a little but overall I am pleased with it. I feel everyone who'll attend my workshop will come out with some practical knowledge they can use.

I am so excited about this because some of the women attending I have known online for years, it'll be so cool to finally meet them and their kids. I'm not stressing if Todd is still under the weather because it's a mother and child event, and no one will trip if he's sitting on my lap during the workshop or anything, so that's cool. I'm taking him to the doctor tomorrow and then to see the specialist on Tuesday. I am hoping we can figure out an alternative to the adenoid surgery initially proposed.

Grrrrr

The worst thing about writing is how tedious it can be sometimes. Especially the editing part. Editing is definitely not my strong point. But it's not like I don't handle constructive criticism well or that I feel loss at chopping bits here and there of switching stuf around...I just would rather not do it. I love writing in the flow and churning out pages, I imagine painters must feel something similar when throwing paint on the canvas. Once it's done, let it set and dry. I was very surprised to learn that often painters go back and paint over a painting or other wise change it in some way, I didn't realize that.
Anyway. I think what also gets to me in the editing process is how asinine I find my own writing sometimes. I'll write something, I'll think it's completely brilliant and then go back over it later and see how stupid it is, or how facile or completely unoriginal. That sets my teeth on edge.

The Democrats Are Evil Too

It's my belief that the Democrats are in secret cahoots with the Republicans...they are both evil parties intent on keeping Bush in the whitehouse to further USA world domination and evil. This is the only way I can explain Kerry, and look at how they, the democrats, left Dean all out there by himself. That was a set-up if I ever saw one. They cut him loose so quick it makes your head spin. Why? because Dean had a chance, a real chance of making it, which would have defeated their secret plotting with the Republicans.

Truly, Kerry acts like he doesn't even want to be president. I cannot believe all the nonsense he says, and the back and forth crap he gets into. Do you think if I had thrown away a purple heart I'd be apologizing and tryna justify it to some person who got out of going to war? To a party that is currently sending 18 year olds off to die while their own 18 year olds are sitting safe at home? Ha!

If the Democrats aren't in secret cahoots with the Republicans, and I see that they appear different on the surface, then why are they pushing such an insipid, uninspiring, tired-looking and tired-acting dishrag like Kerry? He acts like he doesn't have enough energy to tie his shoes, let alone get this country out of the mess it's in.

Kerry's gonna fuck it up. But it's not like he's going to win, because the democrats are in secret plotting with the republicans...if it starts to look like Kerry's going to win, watch how quickly he'll/they'll sabotage his campaign. We're in for another 4 years of horror folks.

Ah, I shouldn't be so pessimistic and cynical.

Why are the Democrats plotting with the Republicans? I read an interesting idea. That if we want real change or an end to the system we should keep Dubya in office because the longer he's president the more things will implode, more people will die, causing most Americans to get righteously PISSED OFF and get off their butts and do something. A real revolution will occur. It will spark some real change in the system. Otherwise, Kerry will just do some stuff to pacify everyone and stall the inevitable system breakdown.

It's a compelling idea. Perhaps the Democrats aren't so evil or out to further US mucking about abroad, perhaps their ultimate goal is to hasten genuine good change, eventually: they want Bush to stay in office so he can fuck up even more and cause even more horror, then in '08 the American people will be so overwhelmed by the preceding 4 years of catastrophe they'll vote Democratic for at least the next 16 years, causing all sorts of democratic reform and progress. But they don't know what kind of evil they are messing with, nor how long it'll take this country to recover from the Dubya years...The minions behind Bush, controlling him, are going to lose what little restraint they have left, it's going to be a nightmare. Shudder.

Damage

Damage by Josephine Hart is one of the most disturbing fiction books I have ever read. About a physician and minor politician, long married, with two grown children established in their careers, this book is all about the horror and havoc that lust and betrayal can bring into someone's life. This guy starts messing around with his son's fiance. He feels himself to be consumed by her, he feels he cannot help himself. It ends horribly, with his son catching them, naked and pounding, together. In shock he topples over the balcony and breaks his neck. He dies.

This book creeped me out on so many levels. It was heartbreaking. I am glad I read it, though, because it captured perfectly the harm and, well the damage that can result when people cheat and betray other people. Fucking around has become so common and accepted nowadays, the fact that this guy cheated on his wife seemed minor, almost incidental. Everyone cheats on their spouse, seems like. But to betray your own child? How monstrous.

This book challenged me to consider my own moral compass. I have a set of rules, a code of ethics I live by that makes my interactions with other people much more simple than when I didn't live by a set of standards. For example, I don't hit my kids. It will never happen that I lose control and beat them to death, because I won't hit them in the first place. Another example, I don't cheat on my husband. I simply don't believe in having sex with other people. What happened in this book would never happen to me because I simply would refuse to entertain the thought of messing around. It has always seemed to me that destruction would follow. This book is a good example of what could happen.

The Man I Live With, Part 1

The man I live with has hot, hot skin. He feels like a heating pad. In the winter this is very nice. I love to slip under the covers and melt into his skin, it's like we have our own private hothouse under the heavy winter blankets. I am never cold when I am with him. Now that it's hot outside I still like a comforter, but the man I live with emits such heat it soon ends up on the floor. During love his sweat drops on my face. He sweats when he sleeps. We keep the windows open and in the moonlight I like to watch the fan play air over his body, cooling him down.

The man I live with has a rich inner life. He is a private person, but occasionally lets me into his mind. I am fascinated by the twists and turns of his thoughts. He can be shallow and deep in the space of a few words. In that way we are alike. My sleep opposite, he knows sleep as intimately as a lover. They have a long and powerful acquaintence. He likes my analogy of sleep being like drowning and says I shouldn't fight it, I should slip gently into sleep and willingly swim into it's depths. I have seen the man I live with sleep 12 hours at a stretch a few times. He claims never to remember his dreams.