Why Spanking Does Not Work
I got hit, spanked, popped, whipped, belted, all of that when I was growing up. My parents believed in spanking as a method of discipline. Not once then and not once now am I glad or grateful that I got hit by my parents. The only thing it did for me was make me wish I never got caught and made me sneakier and a better liar to my folks.
Spanking to a child is like the current prison system to prisoners: there's little to no rehabilitation and it increases criminal activity and sneakiness once the punishment is over.
I have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. My daughter has not been hit in eleven years, since she was seven (she's 18 now) and my sons I quit spanking about eight years ago. They are now 13 and 10. I do not regret no longer spanking and I wish I had never hit my children. Time out does work, and so does taking away privileges, such as TV time, computer time, video games, late bedtimes on weekends, cell phones, etc. My children are well behaved both in school and at home, and other people frequently compliment their behavior.
Of course when my husband and I started not spanking we were ridiculed by family and friends. However now my father (my old school mean daddy who used to line me and my siblings up and hit us with a paddle or a switch) tells me that I am doing a great job with my kids and did the right thing in not continuing to hit/spank them. He has also told me that he wishes that they knew about non-spanking methods back when he was raising kids, he never would have spanked had he knew and understood the repercussions of spanking and knew other alternatives for discipline.
Children are not perfect; of course they will mess up and misbehave from time to time. They are children! When you hit a child for misbehaving, you are physically punishing them often-times for behaving in ways they cannot help. They do not deserve to be flicked, popped, slapped, smacked, or hit for misbehaving. It is just not necessary.
Time out and/or taking away privileges does work for children, the exception being children under 4ish, who are just not cognitively able to understand time out. When I hear parents of older children saying time out doesn't work, usually there are other factors involved. Like they may take a 6 year old out all day shopping and running around, not taking into account the child's ability to handle being out all day. Then when the kid has a melt down and acts the fool, of course time out won't work...cause the kid is tired!! and just needed a nap or break in the first place. I often see parents 'going off' on kids because they don't understand age-appropriate limits on attention span, stamina, etc.
Plus I think time out doesn't work for a lot of folks because they are not all-together emotionally or mentally themselves...that definitely has an impact on the kids; a parent's personality and way of looking/dealing with the world. At my last job I knew this woman who just used to grit her teeth at folks all the time. Getting her to smile or say good morning or just be civil was like pulling teeth. She was/is just a very sour, angry, stressed-out person, I think she was suffering from long-term depression. I knew her kids would be terrors living with a mom like that, and they were. She bought them to work once and they were so bad, throwing stuff at folks and being mean little brats. Pretty much looked and acted like their mom, who probably would have thrown stuff at folks if she could have gotten away with it.
Last but not least: many folks hit their kids without even looking at what they feed their poor children. Many U.S. kids today eat a high salt, high sugar, high grease, high meat diet; and drink funky crap like soda and other processed drinks. Then folks wonder why their kids act as if they lost their minds. I know I would physically feel bad if I ate what the average American kid eats, sheesh. Just feeding a kid more fruit and vegetables, increasing their water intake, reducing or eliminating their meat intake, and definitely reducing their processed sugar intake is going to positively affect how they behave.
Consider this: if spanking works so well then why do folks have to keep hitting their kids? I used to get spanked really bad, I can recall going to school with welts on my legs, and that still didn't stop me from misbehaving. Children will act out from time to time, that is just normal childhood behavior as they learn and grow. No child deserves to be hit because they make a mistake. Stuff I used to get beat over and over for when I was a kid, my own kids haven't repeated after once having a privilege taken away. I have personally seen how using non-violent discipline methods works with my children and I definitely recommend you try it for yours.
Subscribe to Trula's blog by email
Spanking to a child is like the current prison system to prisoners: there's little to no rehabilitation and it increases criminal activity and sneakiness once the punishment is over.
I have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. My daughter has not been hit in eleven years, since she was seven (she's 18 now) and my sons I quit spanking about eight years ago. They are now 13 and 10. I do not regret no longer spanking and I wish I had never hit my children. Time out does work, and so does taking away privileges, such as TV time, computer time, video games, late bedtimes on weekends, cell phones, etc. My children are well behaved both in school and at home, and other people frequently compliment their behavior.
Of course when my husband and I started not spanking we were ridiculed by family and friends. However now my father (my old school mean daddy who used to line me and my siblings up and hit us with a paddle or a switch) tells me that I am doing a great job with my kids and did the right thing in not continuing to hit/spank them. He has also told me that he wishes that they knew about non-spanking methods back when he was raising kids, he never would have spanked had he knew and understood the repercussions of spanking and knew other alternatives for discipline.
Children are not perfect; of course they will mess up and misbehave from time to time. They are children! When you hit a child for misbehaving, you are physically punishing them often-times for behaving in ways they cannot help. They do not deserve to be flicked, popped, slapped, smacked, or hit for misbehaving. It is just not necessary.
Time out and/or taking away privileges does work for children, the exception being children under 4ish, who are just not cognitively able to understand time out. When I hear parents of older children saying time out doesn't work, usually there are other factors involved. Like they may take a 6 year old out all day shopping and running around, not taking into account the child's ability to handle being out all day. Then when the kid has a melt down and acts the fool, of course time out won't work...cause the kid is tired!! and just needed a nap or break in the first place. I often see parents 'going off' on kids because they don't understand age-appropriate limits on attention span, stamina, etc.
Plus I think time out doesn't work for a lot of folks because they are not all-together emotionally or mentally themselves...that definitely has an impact on the kids; a parent's personality and way of looking/dealing with the world. At my last job I knew this woman who just used to grit her teeth at folks all the time. Getting her to smile or say good morning or just be civil was like pulling teeth. She was/is just a very sour, angry, stressed-out person, I think she was suffering from long-term depression. I knew her kids would be terrors living with a mom like that, and they were. She bought them to work once and they were so bad, throwing stuff at folks and being mean little brats. Pretty much looked and acted like their mom, who probably would have thrown stuff at folks if she could have gotten away with it.
Last but not least: many folks hit their kids without even looking at what they feed their poor children. Many U.S. kids today eat a high salt, high sugar, high grease, high meat diet; and drink funky crap like soda and other processed drinks. Then folks wonder why their kids act as if they lost their minds. I know I would physically feel bad if I ate what the average American kid eats, sheesh. Just feeding a kid more fruit and vegetables, increasing their water intake, reducing or eliminating their meat intake, and definitely reducing their processed sugar intake is going to positively affect how they behave.
Consider this: if spanking works so well then why do folks have to keep hitting their kids? I used to get spanked really bad, I can recall going to school with welts on my legs, and that still didn't stop me from misbehaving. Children will act out from time to time, that is just normal childhood behavior as they learn and grow. No child deserves to be hit because they make a mistake. Stuff I used to get beat over and over for when I was a kid, my own kids haven't repeated after once having a privilege taken away. I have personally seen how using non-violent discipline methods works with my children and I definitely recommend you try it for yours.
Subscribe to Trula's blog by email
Labels: Children, Discipline
posted by Trula at
10:09 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home