What Place Do Black Men Have in Feminism?
I think first off that any man who wants to have a place in feminism to sit down and talk with the women in his family; women he has no sexual ties to. Because sex clouds a whole lot of mens' perceptions in my opinion. So talk with women you have zero sexual attraction or history with about what it is like for them as women in this country. I feel you will listen to them better than a woman outside your family. If you have had sexual contact with your sisters, female cousins, etc... if you have been a molester...acknowledge that and apologize to them. I understand some men were molested by female relatives as children as well, I don't mean to minimize or disregard what happened to you. Confront them on it if you feel able, even if no justice comes of it, you may feel better.
Talk to your mother and ask her what sexism was like for her when she was in her 20s, 30s. Compare it with what your sisters or other female relatives your age go through today. You may be surprised...that the same stuff your mother experienced in 1977 your sisters are experiencing in 2007.
Really think this through, try to understand that by wanting to do something about sexism, black women are not wanting to hurt YOU. For example just speaking on black people in the USA, black women have consistently proven their loyalty to black men in this country. I don't understand why that is called into question when we just want to make our lives safer. BLACK WOMEN LOVE BLACK MEN. We just want the rapes to stop. We just want the domestic violence to stop. We just want to have the same economic freedom. We just want to have the same opportunities as men. And if you say you have no control over that, ask yourself why your rage isn't directed at the white men who control the economy rather than black women who are being vocal about change.
You black men are just as capable of standing up and saying NO to oppression just as much as black women are. Are you also victimized by racial oppression? YES, no one is saying that you aren't. No black feminist I ever came across ever said or implied that racism against black men isn't real, or that we shouldn't be activists about racism. Understand, we can and do care about both. So drop your fear that black feminism is somehow hurting you, destroying you, or denying your reality. Women of color just want men, including black men, to get their collective boots off our collective necks.
Your place in feminism starts with acknowledging that yes you have your boots on our necks. Maybe not you personally, but look around and understand that collectively, yes you do. Your place in feminism includes you doing what you can to change that. Speaking up to other men, the very same men who would hurt women like your mother, daughters, and sisters. Ultimately the only real change with sexism has to come from men. Women cannot stop or make men not be sexist anymore, no more than black people can stop or make white people not be racist. You all have the power to change how black women are affected by sexism. The first step is acknowledging it.
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Talk to your mother and ask her what sexism was like for her when she was in her 20s, 30s. Compare it with what your sisters or other female relatives your age go through today. You may be surprised...that the same stuff your mother experienced in 1977 your sisters are experiencing in 2007.
Really think this through, try to understand that by wanting to do something about sexism, black women are not wanting to hurt YOU. For example just speaking on black people in the USA, black women have consistently proven their loyalty to black men in this country. I don't understand why that is called into question when we just want to make our lives safer. BLACK WOMEN LOVE BLACK MEN. We just want the rapes to stop. We just want the domestic violence to stop. We just want to have the same economic freedom. We just want to have the same opportunities as men. And if you say you have no control over that, ask yourself why your rage isn't directed at the white men who control the economy rather than black women who are being vocal about change.
You black men are just as capable of standing up and saying NO to oppression just as much as black women are. Are you also victimized by racial oppression? YES, no one is saying that you aren't. No black feminist I ever came across ever said or implied that racism against black men isn't real, or that we shouldn't be activists about racism. Understand, we can and do care about both. So drop your fear that black feminism is somehow hurting you, destroying you, or denying your reality. Women of color just want men, including black men, to get their collective boots off our collective necks.
Your place in feminism starts with acknowledging that yes you have your boots on our necks. Maybe not you personally, but look around and understand that collectively, yes you do. Your place in feminism includes you doing what you can to change that. Speaking up to other men, the very same men who would hurt women like your mother, daughters, and sisters. Ultimately the only real change with sexism has to come from men. Women cannot stop or make men not be sexist anymore, no more than black people can stop or make white people not be racist. You all have the power to change how black women are affected by sexism. The first step is acknowledging it.
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Labels: allies, Black Men, building community
posted by Trula at
2:30 PM
4 Comments:
Thinking outside the box (and the topic) here, but:
On a similar note, if a woman asked a man what it's like to be a man in modern society, I'm pretty sure that question would open a whole floodgate of emotions and unexpected ideas as well, simply by offering a man a chance to sit down and think about what his life REALLY means, and how it's all interconnected.
Not a lot of people do that kind of introspection. To few, in fact.
We have a wealth of experience and information available to us if we just stop and ask - or, if we just stop and think.
too right justin! On this topic I think it is very important for men to talk to the women in their family because in my experience in trying to talk to men, of any color, about how sexism affects women, I met with a lot of denial and fear of my words. It seems like it is easier for men to hear how sexism affects the women they are close to.
In Africa, Afrikan men (black men) had no fear of women because we knew that she was the "lifegiver."
He had a tremendous amount of respect for her capacity to create and nurture life, and thus was not afraid of her or disrespectful to her.
He treated all women the way he would treat his mother.
When we were stolen from Afrika by Europeans and forced to live life the way they saw it, they broke our loyalty system not only to our motherland but to our women as well.
If you really want to get the Black man's boots "off of your neck" then teach him about who he was before the white man brainwashed him into being a mindless, souless mysoginistic monster like him.
White men in general have always treated thier women with disrespect and contempt.
In the 1800's in South Carolina (and I would imagine in other states) they had the "rule of thumb" law. This means that white men had the legal right to beat their women with anything that was no wider than his thumb.
Black men didn't create that law.
Black men haven't created the pornographic industry (which is the most mysoginistic institution ever created.
Black men didn't create the movie industry, which has probably displayed over a million acts of violence against women.
I can go on and on.
The point is the Black man acts the way he acts towards women because he has been convinced by European men that tormenting women is what constitutes being a real man.
Just like he should go to the source. You should go to the source too and stop blamig the victim
My name is James. Check me out at www.thetubmansolution.blogspot.com
I love your work.
Peace
@james tubman: I disagree with you...sexism existed in many African countries long before europeans came back to Africa.
at any rate black men are responsible for their own behavior. Saying 'the white man made me do it' is a cop-out, don't you think?
thanks for commenting, I appreciate it!
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