How to Get Over Your Sense of Entitlement
I live in an affluent area in an old rambling house with many things wrong with it, and every now and then I feel a glimmer of envy at all the new nifty big houses and everyone seems to have a brand new SUV or hummer or whatever...everyone seems to have satellite TV, a brand new desktop AND a top-of-the-line new laptop, picture cell phones, PDAs, designer clothes, take expensive vacations, coach bags etc...
But then I remember being so poor I had to sell my blood to buy food. Getting my gas and/or electric shut off. Not being able to afford medical care. Always, always being behind in my rent. Washing clothes in the tub. Stealing toilet paper from the library or from school. Being forced to enroll my child in a crappy public school. Never being able to buy anything new, not even from low-cost stores like Kmart. Humiliation from poor treatment when trying to get public aid. After getting with my husband still scrounging as we slowly got ourselves together. Driving a 15 year old car with windows that fell in every time we hit a bump, and a big crack across the windshield. Working opposite shifts and low wage jobs. And so on.
And those memories are like a reality check. A slap in the face. Not appreciating all that I have now is like pissing on young poor broke scrounging Trula, who just wanted somewhere clean and safe to live. To that young mama I was, my life right now is a paradise. I live in a comfortable house. We have more than enough to eat, we even have fruit, fresh vegetables, and dessert every day. We have 2 nice cars that rarely give us trouble. Our kids go to nice, clean, academically-geared public schools. I can take my kids to the doctor and dentist. We have 2 old computers and a new one, and we have internet connection. We can squirrel a little savings away. I can invest in my business. My kids can join sports teams and take music and art lessons. We have a DVD player! We can buy big plants! We can buy books!
So I don't have a sauna or can drop a grand on some nifty new trinkets or clothes? So what. I have love and health, a more than decent shelter over my head, enough to eat...I'm wealthy, blessed, and lucky. Odds are, so are you. Count your blessings and be happy in your life!
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But then I remember being so poor I had to sell my blood to buy food. Getting my gas and/or electric shut off. Not being able to afford medical care. Always, always being behind in my rent. Washing clothes in the tub. Stealing toilet paper from the library or from school. Being forced to enroll my child in a crappy public school. Never being able to buy anything new, not even from low-cost stores like Kmart. Humiliation from poor treatment when trying to get public aid. After getting with my husband still scrounging as we slowly got ourselves together. Driving a 15 year old car with windows that fell in every time we hit a bump, and a big crack across the windshield. Working opposite shifts and low wage jobs. And so on.
And those memories are like a reality check. A slap in the face. Not appreciating all that I have now is like pissing on young poor broke scrounging Trula, who just wanted somewhere clean and safe to live. To that young mama I was, my life right now is a paradise. I live in a comfortable house. We have more than enough to eat, we even have fruit, fresh vegetables, and dessert every day. We have 2 nice cars that rarely give us trouble. Our kids go to nice, clean, academically-geared public schools. I can take my kids to the doctor and dentist. We have 2 old computers and a new one, and we have internet connection. We can squirrel a little savings away. I can invest in my business. My kids can join sports teams and take music and art lessons. We have a DVD player! We can buy big plants! We can buy books!
So I don't have a sauna or can drop a grand on some nifty new trinkets or clothes? So what. I have love and health, a more than decent shelter over my head, enough to eat...I'm wealthy, blessed, and lucky. Odds are, so are you. Count your blessings and be happy in your life!
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Labels: positivity
posted by Trula at
6:48 AM
8 Comments:
i've been having this conversation with myself almost daily lately.
i take it one step further by reminding myself that SUVs are not cheap to buy or fuel.
i remind myself that a big house comes with a big mortgage and a heating bill.
i remind myself that a big house and a big car (or what have you) are more than i need to use and that they consume more resources than necessary.
and really, what is the point of all of that anyway? to prove to yourself that you're successful? if you don't know it, that house or that gadget won't help.
are you doing it to show other people that you're successful? i promise you they don't give an eff because they're too busy worrying about themselves :-).
and ultimately, we all have to ask is it worth the stress and sense of never feeling fulfilled?
comforts are nice, but they are not necessary. as often as not they're also a waste.
I've been interviewing people who are mind-bogglingly weathly for my job lately. And people who are mind-bogglingly poor. What I see is that wealth gives people the opportunity to develope themselves emotionally and spiritually but that people rarely allow themselves to do that. Mostly I think, people define themselves by their place in the world. "I am poor, therefore I am not worth much" or "I have great wealth so I am powerful and worthy of all society has to offer". I think being poor is scary because one is stuggling to maintain one's place-one's basic human rights. I think being wealthy can be really unhealthy and frightening because, if one defines oneself by one's wealth, one has to continuously cling to it to feel secure. I think, when one is wealthy, it's really hard to look within, to find the Divine within.
I think it is good that you question your life, choices and place in the world. I think it's healthy to not take your life for granted. We are not our stuff. We are our bodies and our souls and our spirit. What I've learned is that most of my wants come from my ego; when I can identify that, I can gain perspective and accept and be thankful for all the "blessings" in my life (easier said than done, of course).
Mary Linda (aka "hopelessly triangular")
I soooooo need to get over myself. thanks for this, trula
Thanks tiffany for your comment, I also have to remind myself. It's so hard when success is defined by everyone around you is such materialistic terms.
Hi friendly mama! It's great to hear from you! Thanks for you comment. We are not our stuff, for sure.
You are welcome, anon! :)
Great post!
I've been trying to have a similar mindset lately. I lost my job back in April and have never had it so rough, financially, as I have the past few months. But I've been healthy, still live in a decent apartment, get enough work to pay the bills, and have lots to be thankful for. Of course, I still have my rough days when I feel depressed over not being able to land my next career move yet. But I'm trying to keep my mind focused on the positive and realize that this experience is making me a better person and is building to something great.
Thanks for the uplifting message and for encouraging everyone to get past the negatives.
I have dealt with this as well. It takes effort to not compare yourself to others and measure yourself materially when we live in a hugely materialistic society.
I was stressing recently about being a broke single mom and fultime student, and I had to pull out a credit report from six years ago and see that I had credit so damaged that I could not even get my own apartment, car, cell phone or afford to leave a VERY unhealthy relationship.
Thankfully, through hard work, persistance and determination, I have access to all of those things now.
Of course now, my peers are purchasing homes and taking "real" family vacations, and I have to always remind how much progress I have made,and be patient in the knowledge that I have made and will continue to make great strides and that I am not my stuff.
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