Keeping Negative People Away
Emotional vampires are hard. I used to feel that I attracted negative people into my life. I sometimes still feel this way. I think I am a magnet for them because of my childhood; I think this was the case for me. Isn't is astonishing how when you wake up you can spot dangerous people a mile away? Before my awakening, I was so obtuse or so needy for somebody, ANYBODY, to want me or want to be around me that I overlooked the flaws of lethal people.
If this is something you struggle with, you are definitely on your way to changing this because once you recognize this about yourself it makes it easier to commit to change. So there is only movement forward rather than backward to a life of being used. You are too aware now to want less for yourself!
I've been mulling over why this is so hard to change and I was reading about the work of Dr. Jeffrey Young, a cognitive psychologist. Basically he says that our attachment to our parents when we are small children, whether good or bad attachments, form neural pathways in the brain that set patterns for your life. So if parents were abusive/cold/mean/uncaring/etc., that becomes what we are attracted to in relationships as adults. This is not a new idea but he takes it a little further by examining how that particular attachment can define our adult personalities i.e people who feel entitled, people who have abandonment issues, people who feel defective, and so on. Anyway it helped me to see why this change is so hard, especially for those of us who grew up in a chaotic environment and in crisis mode.
The good news is you don't have to continue in this way or stay fixated on negativity! You can choose to welcome and attract positive people into your life; you can choose to see needy, whiny, destructive, abusive, controlling, pessimistic, etc. people for what they are - emotional vampires who would suck your energy and zest for life right out of you if they could. Once you become aware you will no longer want such people in your life. You will become attracted to and attract happy, positive people who enjoy being alive and being at peace. You will no longer see people who live in crisis mode as being exciting, but you may began to pity them for the turmoil that exists within their hearts and minds. Use that pity to fuel your own determination to be happy and live your life to the fullest. You can do it!
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If this is something you struggle with, you are definitely on your way to changing this because once you recognize this about yourself it makes it easier to commit to change. So there is only movement forward rather than backward to a life of being used. You are too aware now to want less for yourself!
I've been mulling over why this is so hard to change and I was reading about the work of Dr. Jeffrey Young, a cognitive psychologist. Basically he says that our attachment to our parents when we are small children, whether good or bad attachments, form neural pathways in the brain that set patterns for your life. So if parents were abusive/cold/mean/uncaring/etc., that becomes what we are attracted to in relationships as adults. This is not a new idea but he takes it a little further by examining how that particular attachment can define our adult personalities i.e people who feel entitled, people who have abandonment issues, people who feel defective, and so on. Anyway it helped me to see why this change is so hard, especially for those of us who grew up in a chaotic environment and in crisis mode.
The good news is you don't have to continue in this way or stay fixated on negativity! You can choose to welcome and attract positive people into your life; you can choose to see needy, whiny, destructive, abusive, controlling, pessimistic, etc. people for what they are - emotional vampires who would suck your energy and zest for life right out of you if they could. Once you become aware you will no longer want such people in your life. You will become attracted to and attract happy, positive people who enjoy being alive and being at peace. You will no longer see people who live in crisis mode as being exciting, but you may began to pity them for the turmoil that exists within their hearts and minds. Use that pity to fuel your own determination to be happy and live your life to the fullest. You can do it!
Subscribe to MSPmedia: Indie Publishing and Production by Email
Labels: Positivity
posted by Trula at
9:55 AM
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