I Used to Be a Martyr

I wore my broken heart like a badge

This was how I used to be. I was such a martyr. It was like I thought people would like me better or think better of me the more I suffered or something. I really got a lot emotionally out of having people pity me or feel sorry for me. That is so sad.

All it takes is a decision to move forward. It also takes a decision to choose to think differently about yourself and require more of yourself. That's the hard part. I had to ask myself why I wanted to be pitied; why did I want to be pitiful? I had to require of myself to want more for and from myself. This made me totally look at myself differently and in a sense become a new person. It was hard, and painful, but the new person under the old scab of Mercury was fresh, clean, and wonderful person. Not some broken pitiful creature with no self-esteem and no future.

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