Dealing with Family during the Holidays: Remember You are NOT a Mind-reader

I often find myself getting into it with various family members who seem bound and determined to get me upset and drawn into whatever family drama is going on. They refuse to believe that I have changed, but since I let them get to me and I revert to past ways of interacting, I can see why they would be confused.

Here are some suggestions I am employing today and tomorrow with certain family members, perhaps you can try them too. These are also good for interacting with anybody, really. and remember, if someone is just fixated on getting at you, don't respond. Just ignore them. I know this is hard to do!! Ok here goes:

am I seeing only the negatives? what possible positives am I overlooking?

when I make comparisons with my family members, am I comparing all the facts about myself and others?

do I know all the facts about the others or am I just assuming?

am I reacting now with the past instead of now with a possible future?

most important I feel:
do I really know what others are thinking or feeling?

how valid is the advice or comment I have been given by family members? is it possible that I give too much weight or importance to their comments?

is there another possible explanation for others' behaviour that has nothing to do with me?

can I really make an informed comment or action about a family member based on second-hand information from another family member?

Happy Thanksgiving!