Treading Water

I have no idea what to do about my marriage. Neither does my husband. We've discussed dissolution/divorce and neither of us wants to do it. Or rather, our opinions change from day to day. I have days when I want NOTHING MORE than to no longer be married to Brian. He has similar days. As of right now, I'm leaning toward more marriage counseling and he's leaning toward splitting up. This may change tomorrow, that's how stupid we both are being about the whole thing.

Honestly, if I didn't have kids I would have filed already, but it is not just me and Brian, we have to think about how a break-up will affect the kids. This is my biggest reason for wanting to work things out. We have a family together, a nice family thing going on. If our relationship was abusive or toxic I would of course divorce rather than have my kids in such a household, but it isn't like that. We've managed to remain nice and civil to each other.

My father is losing patience with Brian but both he and my mom are staying out of our business. Brian's mom, however, has made it plain that she can't wait for him to get rid of me. She actually said that we should separate! I am glad, though, that she said this in front of him, if I had told him that his mom said that to me he would have told me I was lying. He is such a mama's boy it is unreal. Of course, all of my friends think I am a nit-wit for moving around the corner from her anyway, and act as if I should have known she would interfere and try to wreck things. How was I supposed to know this? She wasn't an interfering mother-in-law before.

I just don't know what to do.