Not Alone
Where would I be without my friends? I don't want to imagine it. The stress in my life these past few months (marriage crumbling, health problems, etc) would have broken me if I didn't have my friends. I am a sometimey-social person, but my basic core is a solitary self. My children, and then Brian, my husband, are/were my entire world.
It's not that I am not a friendly person. It's more that on many levels I am socially delayed. I can remember back in elementary and then high school and being totally mystified by the other kids. How did they know what the cool clothes were? How did they know what the new dances were? What to say, how to act? I never saw this information being passed around, yet all the kids seemed to know it, as if by osmosis.
Anyway. On to adulthood. I just realized something about myself and my friendships recently, and that is that with all of my friendships, the other person had to make an effort to become my friend. I rarely initiated phone calls, or sent the first email, or set up coffee/lunch dates, or invited folks over. I just realized this, which says a lot about how completely self-involved I've been all these years. All that has got to change. I do consider myself a good friend, though, and I am a loyal friend to those close to me.
It is such a good feeling to know that I am loved, and cared about. That people think about me and wonder how I'm doing, and worry about me. All of the phone messages and emails from my friends has been such a comfort to me, you just don't know. And my family of course, my sisters and brothers and cousins have been phenomenal, as have my folks and aunts and uncles. Not to belittle or take away from my family or anything, because I know I am very lucky to have them , but I know that they love me and will be there for me. It's the surge of support from my friends that has been really surprising. I guess because I just don't expect someone unrelated to me to care about my pain or unhappiness. This past year has actually been the first time I exposed so much of 'the bad stuff' to my friends, instead of just sharing the good stuff.
Thank you all.
It's not that I am not a friendly person. It's more that on many levels I am socially delayed. I can remember back in elementary and then high school and being totally mystified by the other kids. How did they know what the cool clothes were? How did they know what the new dances were? What to say, how to act? I never saw this information being passed around, yet all the kids seemed to know it, as if by osmosis.
Anyway. On to adulthood. I just realized something about myself and my friendships recently, and that is that with all of my friendships, the other person had to make an effort to become my friend. I rarely initiated phone calls, or sent the first email, or set up coffee/lunch dates, or invited folks over. I just realized this, which says a lot about how completely self-involved I've been all these years. All that has got to change. I do consider myself a good friend, though, and I am a loyal friend to those close to me.
It is such a good feeling to know that I am loved, and cared about. That people think about me and wonder how I'm doing, and worry about me. All of the phone messages and emails from my friends has been such a comfort to me, you just don't know. And my family of course, my sisters and brothers and cousins have been phenomenal, as have my folks and aunts and uncles. Not to belittle or take away from my family or anything, because I know I am very lucky to have them , but I know that they love me and will be there for me. It's the surge of support from my friends that has been really surprising. I guess because I just don't expect someone unrelated to me to care about my pain or unhappiness. This past year has actually been the first time I exposed so much of 'the bad stuff' to my friends, instead of just sharing the good stuff.
Thank you all.
Labels: Friends
posted by Trula at
5:00 PM
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